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Be Careful What You Pray For

The funny thing about this Christ race is that the individuals that fall into this category, we have our own clichés and or common phrases. However, many of the things we say or the songs we sing we fail to understand the implication of our words or even believe what we say or sing to be true, rather we just say it just because that’s the trend of the day.

For example, many times you will hear a person say that Jesus is enough, and let me be the first to tell you, that is easier said than done. In this culture we try so hard to get, get, get that when we don’t, we think we won’t survive with just Christ alone, which is a segway to another popular confession: I believe in God and have faith that He will supply all my needs. Again, in one way or another we have heard or said that a million times, but when life is anything but sunshine and daisies, do we live as if we truly believe what we said on Sunday?? There is a song called “I Don’t Mind Waiting,” which is pretty much 95% of the song’s lyrics. Do you understand how dangerous of a song that is?! Waiting is not for the weak, at all! But many will sing this from the mountain top, yet only mean it to a certain extent. As you walk with God, you will soon learn that by no means does he operate on our time table, and we will often times find ourselves waiting. The question is did you really mean what you said??

Just with in the last year, I have learned in my own experience and by others, the need to think about what we say, because what we say will be tested and furthermore, the Lord does hear our prayers and operates in ways that can make all but happy. What do I mean? Be careful what you pray for. Prayer is an integral part of this Christian race, it’s our direct communication with the God of the universe, so when you pray know that God has every ability to answer your request, many times in ways we never take notice of. For example, you pray the Lord to protect you in your travels and the Lord says “yes.” What we sometimes fail to realize is that in protecting us God will cause us to misplace our keys, have to turn around and go back home because we forgot something, or traffic puts us 30 minutes behind schedule, and of course we get upset, but we forget what we prayed and many times God is just honoring our requests through these situations. Or if you ask God to send you that perfect boo thang to marry. He says “yes, that is a part of My plan for you,” but until we meet who God has for us, He has to mold us and him or her, which means we will have to go through some other relationships, good and not so good to purge us and make us ready for the one we will spend the rest of our life with. Or if you pray for more love or more patience, and the Lord will always say yes, but it doesn’t just happen; a prayer like that will automatically initiate some awkward and or upsetting situations to test and stretch your patience and love. Even more awesome, if you pray and ask the Lord to bless you and to do in, by, though, and for you all that He can for His glory, understand that God would love to do so. The only question is, are you really ready for Him to do it? Because if you really mean it and give Him full reign to do as He pleases, I guarantee He will blow your mind and rock your world something serious.

The overall idea is not to scare you or have you walking on eggshells, but just to know that you serve and awesome and powerful God that loves and listens even to every seemingly nonchalant prayer, even when we forget. We just have to remember that His ways are not our ways, nor is His time as our time. Likewise, in everyday speech with whoever, if you speak it, be able to back it up or prove it to be true when the time comes, because your word is bond, and the actions behind those words will solidify or nullify you and what you said.

Good Love

One of the things that intrigue me most about God’s Word is how it reads incredibly like a story, with characters and their development, people with feelings and emotions, people who had serious problem and how they dealt with them or the lack thereof. Piggy backing off the blog “Simply Put,” the Bible has plenty of love stories and characters that I feel are remarkable and great examples as we seek to love and be loved. So out of the many, there are 2 women (Abigail (1 Samuel 25) and the Shulamite (Song of Solomon)) and 2 men (Boaz (Ruth 2-4) and Elkinah (1 Samuel 1:1-21) who executed this love thing in an amazing way.

good love

As before, ladies first.

Abigail’s life is very relevant to today’s culture for the fact she was the wife of a drunken jerk. Just read the story. She had to deal with a mean, rude, and prideful man who was usually drunk, so as you can imagine she had to deal with a lot. However, her faith was strong and she took up for her husband even when he was on his worst behavior, as in when he was crude toward King David. The Bible called her intelligent and beautiful, highlighting the inner beauty before the outer beauty. Consequently, when her husband had pretty much signed his death wish by disrespecting the king, she protected his name and took up for him so much in so that David did not destroy him. In actuality, God did it instead. From Abigail, we see her perseverance and faithfulness to her husband and to God, in spite of the unpleasant person he was, and God blessed her in a mighty way. She picked up his slack in more ways than one and her all around beauty radiated. Likewise, good love is when no matter how difficult he may become, hang in there, don’t give up on him, seek the Lord, be an example (1 Peter 3:1-2), and pray for him, and let God do what He needs to do and show you what you need to do if you stay hidden in Him, and He will surely bless you as He surely blessed Abigail if you read the rest of the story.

Then there is the Shumalite woman, the wife of Solomon, and there is a whole book dedicated to the love between them, Songs of Solomon. If you have ever read that book you see that she was very affectionate toward her man, spoke highly of him, and praised him. As a wife or future wife, nagging and complaining should not be a second language, which Proverbs compares to a dripping faucet (27:15). Furthermore, there are several women in Scripture that failed at this and their stories were cut short. For example, Michal, David’s wife, though she had a good start, was not mentioned again after she criticized David’s praise, instead of supporting him, or Job’s wife who instead of encouraging him at the worst of times, she added salt to the wound when she told him to curse God and die and that one verse was the last of her story. Words are so powerful and as a wife or future wife, we should not be so quick to criticize, complain, or fuss, because a man already has enough pressure and things on his plate. Don’t add to it, instead be his reason to smile. Good love. (And I just want to point out this was an interracial couple.)

Gentlemen.

Boaz is one of my favorites. There are so many things about him that I find so captivating and attractive. Even though he was well off and successful, he was kind and treated everyone with respect and dignity, even those that worked for him. In reference to the love of his life, Ruth, in addition to his kindness toward Ruth, he was a man with a plan and did what he had to do to show her he was interested. Gentlemen, if you have a woman in sight, take the initiative to illustrate your desire with class, tact, and finesse if you will. Boaz knew what he wanted and went after it. Furthermore, he was accepting. He didn’t judge Ruth on the superficial things like where she came from or who she came from, he accepted her as she was and made her feel significant and special, and she took notice. Likewise, men, good love is making your lady feel like she is the only woman in the world. A woman feels no more loved than that right there. Additionally, he was generous – a husband should be known as a giver – and a provider, a trait that is often mentioned as the primary role of the husband.

Lastly there is Elkinah, who along with his wife, Hannah, make-up my favorite love story. Long story short, Hannah was without child, but still he showed and spoke of his love for her by giving her a double portion over the wife with kids. Then he asked if he was worth more to her than ten sons, reaffirming their love one for another. In that culture, a statement like that meant so much, because of the value a male brought to the patriarchal family structure, so his love was very real and very evident. In the same way men, speak to your lady and let her know how much she is worth to you and how much you value her and what she means to you, especially in times she feels unpretty or less of a woman, as did Hannah when she was barren. Furthermore, he paid attention to her emotions and showed concern when she was upset (1 Samuel 1:8), he treated her well, loved her, was generous, and made her feel special, similar to Boaz. My favorite part of the story however, is found in chapter 1 verse 19. First off, we see that they worshiped together, which is still important today, to have a spiritual connection; then they came home after a high time in ministry and as someone put it before, they ministered to each other. Good love is being in a relationship and not only having the spiritual, but the emotional and physical intimacy as well, it doesn’t get any better than that.

Love is a beautiful thing and if the Lord wills and you have the opportunity to be in a relationship with the person He created just for you, take advantage of it and love with all your might. If God has purposed that in your life, there is a purpose in that relationship that will coincide with the fulfillment of the ultimate purpose for your life and your love’s.

Just in Case

The story of Gideon is very interesting and to cover it all, a blogsite would not suffice, so for the sake of this entry, I want to focus on the beginning of his story, which pretty much sums up much of my relationship with God in one way or another.

If you aren’t familiar with the story of Gideon (Judges 6-9), it tells of a man full of insecurity, fear, and uncertainty so God had to prove Himself, and yes, yes He did. Nonetheless, it’s the beginning of his story that draws most of my attention. Gideon was pretty much a nobody, in that there nothing special about who he was, where he came from, or who his family was. But you know what? That is the beauty of it all. God’s standard for using someone has nothing to do with who we are or where we come from. What He has spoken over your life, the purpose He has for any of us, is not dependent on such superficial factors, rather our ability to believe what He has spoken and the choice accept it and pursue it. Sandy Smith put it this way, “God has a way of using those the world calls “nobodies.”

When God first expressed to Gideon his future as a mighty warrior (6:12), Gideon didn’t believe him for much of the reason many of us refuse to trust God today: His circumstance blinded his faith and belief and he didn’t see God working.Yet, God replied “Go in the strength you have.” One of the most remarkable things that make me love the Lord all the more, is how He is able to take the little that we have and do something incredible, if we allow Him to. Just as He told Gideon, I am telling you as He also told me, give Him all you have, even if you feel it’s very little, if anything at all, because “I knew nothing, I was nothing. For this reason God picked me out,” which is how St. Catherine Laboure explained it. Living a life of purpose is giving God the all of the little that we have to offer the God of the universe and trust that He will bless it and multiply it, like He did with the boy who only had two fish and five loaves of bread.

One of the things I grasp most in this passage is how God knows our limits and strength. Gideon asked a question that many of us do, “how can I?” We question ourselves and God doesn’t correct us, instead He promises to go with us (6:15-16). Bottom line, with the Lord, we have everything we need; we are in the majority. We are finite and however ways we are limited, He is infinite and has an unlimited amount of power and riches. We are weak but He is the Almighty God.

Nevertheless, as we each do often times, at least I know I have about a million times and then some, when we hear God, we question if it is God in fact talking. Although, generally speaking, when we aren’t sure, for one reason or another, it is good to inquire, which emphasizes having an intimate relationship with God so that when He speaks you know His voice. Still, God is gracious and puts up with our stubbornness and doubt, and will comply and show Himself; we just have to be willing to see it. Truth be told, many times it does require God several attempts before we get it, but we build our relationship with Him, it takes less for us to believe what He says and does.

Overall, God has spoken, and His word shall come to pass and He will fulfill His purpose in your life, whether it looks like it or not. Furthermore, you have no capacity, strength or ability to do all He has purposed you to do apart from Him, but just in case you forget, as we all do, as long as you have Him, you have all you need to accomplish the greatness set before you. Oh, and if nothing else, remember that God likes to show off, so be careful when you ask Him to prove Himself ☺.

Simply Put…..LOVE

simply putThis piece I contemplated doing for some time now, because I wasn’t exactly sure how I would integrate it in the theme of “purpose,” and on top of that there is so much that I could say. Thus, it was a matter of what should I say and what angle should I take in talking about “love,” I truly enjoy talking about love and relationships. Nonetheless, when you live a purpose-filled life and your intent is to get married or preserve a marriage relationship, there are basic things that need to be considered so that the person God put in your life on purpose to help you fulfill His purpose for your life never has to guess or doubt your love.

So as a disclaimer, this not about general love for other people, but specifically that eros love between you and the person God created just for you. I am not looking to bash either men or women in any sense, or point out red flags, or even give my own preferences, or an advice column of “what ifs,” or tell you that God wants you to get married (God has to show you his purpose in that area), or give a list of things to look for in a mate. Instead, this is just my Biblical translation of the non-negotiables, or basic blueprint, of what your love should look like. Oh! One more thing, I’ll try not to make it too long, and if you think it’s getting lengthy, please hang with me until the end.

Ladies first.

Simply put, Paul said it best, the best way to love a man, or make him feel loved, is to respect him (Ephesians 5:33). Respect means recognizing the fact that he is a man, not a woman, thus, the very way he thinks and lives is completely different, and loving him first and foremost means to appreciate who he is as a man, without trying to change him into a woman. Respect implies that you don’t talk to him like you are or he is crazy or do any thing that would make him feel less of a man. All in all, just let him be the man, be the leader, and respect and honor the position that the Lord put him in, which means you submit, and if you believe that God put you two together, you should be able to trust and be obedient to the leadership of that man. Respect means acknowledging he is not perfect, and never will be, but you still stick with him no matter what (1 Corinthians 7:10),  you stay with him through all the mess that any relationship goes through. He needs to know that no matter who else walks out of his life, even if it is his own mama, you will never leave, no matter how mad or frustrated either of you are. Looking at the definition of respect, the idea is that you hold a person in high esteem, or in high regard, which means treat him with dignity, and frankly in this case, treat him like a king. When you respect the man God has for you as a king, there are things you do to make sure the king is taken care of, so while he is out striving to be the Psalm 112 man, you are to be the Proverbs 31 woman and take care of the home (whatever that means), which should be the most peaceful place and your man’s favorite place to go. Furthermore, that respect includes each part of that man, his visions, his dreams, his personality, his family, and his preferences, so be considerate of what he likes, as well as understanding and considering his feelings. Also, be his helpmeet (Genesis 2:18), that means as a woman do all you can to support him, encourage him, pray for him, help him be the best man God has him to be at home, at work, in relationships, in his visions, with his health, with his gifts, with his talents, his mentality, his emotions, etc. His life should be better because you are in it and he should be proud to show you off, which means what you look like and how you carry yourself should make him look better, even when he isn’t around, as would a queen, and I’ll leave it there. Since he found you, make sure he never has to doubt he found a good thing (Proverbs 18:22). Long story short, when you respect him, you love him the most.

To the gentlemen.

After all that, you may wonder how to make your woman feel most loved, and Paul explained that too: you love her (Ephesians 5:33). It may sound redundant, but love is what any woman desires, especially one that is in committed relationship. What does that love look like? She has to be the number one woman in your life, the only woman in your life, not your mama or your friends (male or female) (Genesis 2:24), and she needs to be assured of that. Likewise, the Bible calls what you found a good thing, so treat her right like a good thing; take care of her like you would a good thing (Proverbs 18:22); protect her like a good thing; be kind to her in word and actions, and esteem her like good thing. In loving her, she needs to know that no matter what you will not leave her and that your commitment to her is true and sincere (1 Corinthians 7:11). As the leader of the house, your responsibility is to give yourself to her and do what you can to make her stronger, better, wiser in her spiritual walk (Ephesians 5:25), and when you love her, you are to appreciate her as a woman, just as Adam would’ve appreciated Eve after so much time had passed before God created her; Adam understood the blessing she was, respected her, dignified her, valued her, and loved her. In the same way, submit to her (Ephesians 5:21), implying that you listen to her, value her opinion and who she is to you, and be considerate of her needs, loving her as much as you love yourself. Above all, loving her means knowing her (1 Peter 3:7), or rather taking interest and learn all you can about the specific woman God gave you. For example, know your queen’s love language (gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, personal touch, or acts of service), know her shoe size, her favorite candy, her pet peeves, her little habits, her clothing sizes, her favorite earrings, her favorite store or brands, her favorite foods, her biggest dreams or desires; know her time of the month, her birthday, what makes her smile, and what makes her cry; know when she wants to be held or be left alone; know her favorite song, her favorite book, her favorite movie, the size of her family and the type of childhood she had, and her favorite hobbies. You get the point, because I can go on and on, and of course all this takes time, but these are the basics. Long story short, to love her, you love her.

Overall, when you are in a relationship, the way to keep things smooth, is remembering it’s not about you, it’s about the other person, and like you blow out your candle in a wedding ceremony, problems start when you decide to relight your candle that you blew out. Now these things mentioned are fairly straightforward for any serious relationship, married or not, except the idea of home. God’s will is not to be living with or having sex with anyone other than your husband or wife, not your boyfriend/girlfriend, fiance, or person you think you will marry. Home and sex are specifically for those that say “I do” (1 Corinthians 7:1; Songs of Solomon 8:4; Genesis 2:24). Still, for those that are, your bodies are no longer your own. Therefore, give you husband or wife what he or she wants, otherwise that’s how the enemy like to creep (1 Corinthians 7:2-6). If you respect him, respect his need and desire for sex, or if you love her, cater to the love her body desires.

Well, if you made it this far, thank you for going all the way and sticking with me on this one. Hope you got something out of it. Now if this applies in any way to you or your current situation, simply put, go and love on purpose.

Diamonds & Rubies

I think the ideal life of purpose for the man or woman of God is summed up in these two verses.

Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find? ~ Proverbs 20:6

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. ~ Proverbs 31:10

Now a days it is hard to find a faithful man, in more categories than one. To find a man who is trustworthy, respectable, and committed to each aspect of his life is uncommon. There are so many things that are distracting and living in this type of society, it’s all about moving on to the next, plus, many have their own pride and ego. However, this verse tells us what a man of purpose is all about: he is faithful. diamonds

This man knows his purpose, knows his place and or his role in his various relationships and positions in life, but more importantly he is faithful and committed to each task and his word is truly his bond. He is intentional about all that he says, does, and gets involved with, while refusing to give up or throw in the towel during difficult times. As a man, when both, other people and God, find you faithful (Proverbs 3:3-4), you are on the good path; the Lord is able to trust you to do what He has for you to do, and others can depend on you. As a result, a faithful man’s actions speak for themselves, so he doesn’t have to brag on himself, as this verse infers. Furthermore, a faithful man’s mantle and influence will be so much greater than another not living a focused life and also gains a larger portion of the Lord’s favor over his life.

rubiesOn the other hand, a virtuous woman is also a rare find, a woman of purpose who knows her purpose and understands her worth and identity in Christ, focused on leaving a legacy for generations after to follow. Seeing all these reality TV shows and how media often portrays woman, virtue seems to be a lost jewel, meaning a woman who does not compromise her dignity or self-respect, her standards, values, or morals. A full description of such a woman is found specifically in Proverbs 31, and long story short, she takes care of her own. She loves and serves the Lord, takes care of her family, and impacts the communities around her. Because she is hard to find, her worth, as the verse says, is far more than rubies, which are rarer and more valuable than diamonds. She lives and does not just exist; she is motivated and driven, honorable, and respectable.  A virtuous woman is very intentional as well in what she does or says.

Because these are such rarities, when they find each other, this is what is known as a power couple. I haven’t done a post about love, and at some point I will, but for the sake of this post, if a faithful man finds a virtuous woman, and or a virtuous woman falls for a faithful man, these two together are able to rock this world and lead nations. Of course, each has to get his or her own right cut, if you get what I mean.

Until that happens, I encourage you to strive to be the rare diamond, a faithful man, or the rare ruby, a virtuous woman. The demand is high, the supply is few, and your value to this world is priceless and as you shine in the light of Jesus, your beauty radiates across the hemispheres. Living on purpose and with purpose, you are the precious gem among so many stones. So I ask, are you the answer to these questions in Proverbs? Are you what the world is looking for?