marriage

Jesus Ain’t About that Life, Neither Should We

This piece is inspired by a quote I read the other day and a conversation that followed. The quote was, “Stop praising boyfriends. Until a man walks a woman down the aisle, he’s just auditioning. Don’t give the boyfriend the benefits of a husband. Know the difference between dating and marriage so every Tom, Dick, and Harry can’t say they had all of you.” I couldn’t agree more, now this quote is directed toward women, because women tend to give and give all of themselves including their bodies to a man in order to get the love they desire, and many times it only results in heartbreak. Although, it can apply to men as well. When you are dating, of course you will want to do things for your significant other; you want to prove to the other person how you feel. However, there has to be a limit as the referenced quote explains. The best days of a couple’s relationship should not be before they get married, nor should a person pull out their best tricks until s/he gets married. There should still be a sense of mystery while dating, such as not having sex or living together (just for starters), both of which are very intimate and personal and if those gifts are opened before time, there is less to look forward to. This culture has downplayed the beauty and sacredness of marriage, something that God created Himself, and because people, women and men alike, play house with a person they are not married to or get the marriage benefits from a person that is not their husband or wife, there is no need to buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.

As I was further discussing the implications of the quote in the conversation, the Lord gave me an epiphany about it. Like I said before, marriage was instituted by God to symbolize and demonstrate the relationship between Jesus and the church. If you look at Jesus he exercises the same principles that are represented in the quote. Jesus never gives you all of Him until you commit your life to him and him alone. Now don’t get me wrong, Jesus is a true gentlemen, he does pursue his people and does things to get their attention and show that he cares and loves them. For example, he may do so through protection, provision, healing, or just through creation (Romans 1:20) and as Scriptures says, at one point or another, he proposes to each person at least once, and the ring is in the shape of the cross. God is so awesome and so desperate to love you that he proposes to most people more than once and will keep doing things to show us he loves us. But, it’s not until we say yes, I do, that he gives us those marriage benefits of salvation, peace of mind, joy, patience, maturity, forgiveness, mercy, grace, eternal life with him, revelation of his word, truth, righteousness, broken chains of bondage, restoration, deliverance, authority over Satan, wisdom, God’s favor and blessings, your inheritance, purpose, but most of all a living and active relationship with the God of the universe who promised to never leave you or forsake you, no matter how bad you mess up or how bad you may cheat on Christ.

So in my physical life I choose not to give all of myself in every way, to a man until we walk down the aisle, because I didn’t receive all of Jesus until I said yes to him. Jesus ain’t about that non-committed life, he wants it all and wants to give us all of him, no game playing, no one foot in and one foot out, no hot and cold. He won’t give his best until we say “yes,” and if Jesus operates like that, we should do the same.

A Great Mistake of Today’s Church

No church is perfect. Each church has its own issues, problems, and things they could and should change. And truth be told there are some issues that are more common than others. However there is one particular that I want to discuss.

God does have a purpose for each of his children. Some of which would require a person to marry, and others that would require singleness. The problem comes when many Christian institutions, not just churches, are so adamant that every Christian should marry. I do not believe that to be true.

Now don’t get me wrong, when marriage is done the right way for the right reasons, it is a noble, honorable and beautiful thing. I mean I myself would love to get married one day and share my life with the man God created for me. Still, that is just me. Not everyone is meant to be married. There are some things that a married person cannot engage in, and Paul even talks about it in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, as well, he himself embraced the single life.

Many teach in one way or another, that marriage is the only way to live a  life of purity, or rather subside the urge of fornication or immorality. FALSE. There are many ways to remain pure, take Philippians 4:8 for example. It starts with your thoughts. There are things around us everyday that aren’t godly that we can’t control. In the same way there are just as many things that we can control to help keep us focused on what God has for us, whether it be marriage or celibacy, like what we read, watch on tv or movies, music we listen to, people we hang around, and places we go.

Being single is not a disease. If that is God’s calling for you don’t doubt it or be pressured into thinking otherwise. When you know who you are, know your purpose, understanding God’s will for your life, live that way by the grace of God and be content with that, whether marriage is in you future or not. But that’s between you and God to determine, and which ever life He would have for you, embrace it follow His word and will and let God do His thang in the way only He can.