Withdrawal & Sacrifice

So, this will be rather short, but I still feel like I need to say it fully. So lately I’ve been feeling so far from God, and I began to realize the truth of working for Jesus, without really spending time with Him just for the sake of our relationship. Many times those lines are blurred and with all the other day-to-day activities it’s easy to fall asleep. As  a result, it was like I have been through a withdrawal, I just felt bad and at times I wasn’t sure which what to do to get back. Jesus, as cliché as it sounds, is my drug and when I was low as I was, my whole being changed, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually concerning several different things. In the midst, I became sensitive to certain things that I was watching. Meaning, I have Netflix and one of my favorite shows from growing up that I was faithfully attending was “Xena: Warrior Princess.” However, that show was full of non-Christian deities and philosophies that was just not cool, so much in so, one of the last episodes I watched, my spirit was telling me to turn it off because it was very very ritualistic and demonic and just not healthy…and I could feel it. I felt weird but I have to admit I wanted to watch it, because like I said, it’s a favorite of mine. However, I was feeling so detached that I had to turn it off and not long after, I wasn’t feeling as nearly as bad and I don’t plan to watch it again.

Furthermore, I am a huuuuuuuge fan of  “Law & Order: SVU” and again, Netflix has the first 12 seasons and I am halfway through season 11. Long story short, after Xena, I picked back up on “SVU.” It was cool, but the show is dark, to be completely honest and some of the principles aren’t necessarily Biblical, and almost every “Christian” character is bonafide psycho which bothers me, but that’s another story. Anyway, still going through my withdrawal, as of yesterday I think, I decided to take a break from watching it. It was so much negativity that was pouring into my spirit and I needed to release. So I’ve been on my Amazon Cloud Player listening to my Worship 2.0 playlist, 7 of my all time favorite worship songs. The list has been on repeat. When I say I feel so much better, feeding that into my spirit and making and effort get back in tune via other measures, may I say the sacrifice was so worth it. Not saying that I would’ve expected different, but when we are living a life of purpose, we have to be mindful and conscious of the things we watch and listen to, because it can put us in  a weird place and we can lose focus like I did. Withdrawal is no joke, but I love it because you can never get too much Jesus, who is the ultimate high, and without my fix, I am no good.

So I encourage you, every bit of whatever you may feel the Lord is pushing you to sacrifice (music, tv show, relationship, shopping habits, etc.), listen. The reward is far far far greater, no matter how big or small. Even if it is small, if you let it fester, it can become a bigger issue than you wanted. Feed your spirit and not your flesh. Fulfilling your purpose depends on it.

Lessons from Eden – Part 2

I love the Garden, so much is in the story. Nonetheless, the blog prior emphasized 1_eve-serpentungratefulness. This go round is something I recently had to learn and deal with. After the serpent shifted Eve’s focus to the one and only tree of a hundred (hypothetically) that she could not have, he caused her to do something else that was detrimental. He made her doubt what the Lord said.

Eve knew what God has said, because of Adam had told her. However, after losing focus, she enabled herself to become vulnerable to others’ opinions. Even in my own life, I knew what God said, but there were others around me that would give their opinions and insight, they wasn’t even necessarily bad, but, it just wasn’t what God said. In the same way, I knew what I wanted and I wanted it at the moment, so my selfish desires also blocked by vision. Nonetheless, I begin to doubt and reconsider what God had told me, and I got my emotions all mixed up and almost took matters into my own hands. Yet, by the grace of God and the power of his word, I found solace in knowing that what God said is what God said; no one can change what He said. This is why we have to keep God’s word in our hearts. There are so many voices and opinions and influences in this world, it can become harder and harder to decipher what is really the voice of God. Still, the closer we draw to Him, the clearer his voice becomes, no compromise, no doubt. Don’t make the same mistake Eve did.

God said it. I believe it. That settles it. Your purpose depends on it.

10 For just as rain and snow fall from heaven
and do not return there
without saturating the earth
and making it germinate and sprout,
and providing seed to sow
and food to eat,
11 so My word that comes from My mouth
will not return to Me empty,
but it will accomplish what I please
and will prosper in what I send it to do.” – Isaiah 55:10-11



“He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”

When Job exclaimed this to his wife, he had just lost all his wealth, his home, all of his children, his health, and to top it off, his wife was giving him the third degree, adding more fire to the flame. Yet, Job kept his focus on God. He didn’t at all see His purpose, but he knew God’s heart and sovereignty above all else. This is not to say he wasn’t upset or disheartened by all that had happened, rather Job understood the greatness and holiness of God. Job lost everything, but his heart understood that,

“naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.”

In the same way, especially after talking to a friend of mine, some of us think God is a genie. We think He’ll just give us what we want when we want it, and that life will be honky dorie once we enter a relationship with Christ. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. In this walk with Christ, we are promised suffering, hurt, disappointment, and despair, although, there will be the good days. Still, we have to expect and accept the terrible nights as well. Any good relationship is about weathering through the storms. Where does your relationship lie? Jesus is in it for the long haul…Are You?

But I won’t leave you in fear or anxiety, because it will be worth it. Jesus said he would always be with us, he said he would meet our every need, David even said he will give you the desires of your heart, and it was Paul who said:

16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. – 2 Corinthians 4:16-18



[To understand my purpose]
I [must continually] surrender my life
Not letting my mind and flesh overwhelm me
Learning that other people need encouragement
But not everyone wants to be encouraged
Knowing that through God all things are possible
I now understand what it means to be me
Now able to comprehend the concept of don’t be who people think you are but be who you know you are
I’ve established the fact that someone will always have something to say about everything
I have figured out that no one else is quite like me
I am an individual priceless and unique
I’ve concluded that there’s always good in some strange way in every situation
That life is hilarious the way things just fall into place
I’ve recognized the true meaning of wisdom and courage
I’ve accepted that I am different but special in every way
I’ve realized what I was put on earth to do
 I’ve acknowledged the fact that there is purpose for my life
Still being challenged in my walk and in my talk and in my living
I’m choosing to take the road few people travel
As I learn the new meaning of what life is
I’ve given some things up
Yet waiting to take things in
Learning to let things go
However still remembering the world I’ve come from
Things were taken
More were gained
I’ve surrendered my life