generation

Generation

Beth Moore is someone else I have been listening to recently. One of her messages, consequently. was about purpose and why it is so crucial that we don’t give up. I have mentioned it before in prior posts, but I want to reiterate it again. Simply put, your God-given purpose was chosen for this generation AND generations to come.

As any other person, there are things that you don’t understand or know why it happened, but we serve a God of the future and your story will be one to impact generations to come. God knows what He is doing and has an amazing plan for you and men. There is a reason He chose to put you in the family He did, gave you the personality, the talents and skills, the money or lack thereof; there is a reason He chose for you to grow up in the environment in the country or city, and a reason for the time which you were born. As Mordecai explained to Esther, you are here for such a time as this to impact this generation.

You are here immediately for this generation, as was said about David (Act 13:36). David served his generation. There are people that only you can reach, only you can connect with, only you can relate to, and as you do so, your service will touch generation to come. So be encouraged and know that God is working through generation. Stay focused and keep your eyes on the cross because your purpose I can guarantee is so much greater than your life; with God working through, what you do for this generation will last even after you pass, because the purposes of His heart continues throughout the generations (Psalm 33:11).

Make your story tell of God’s greatness and faithfulness so that future generations can praise His name (Psalm 102:18). Even more on a family basis living a Christ-centered life of purpose, your descendants will be blessed (Psalm 112:2). All in all, God’s calling on your life is so much bigger than you, thus, it’s imperative we live with conviction and purpose, because our children, grandchildren, and great-grands depends on it as well as their generations.

If we can come in accordance and seek God’s face and start fulfilling the great commission in whatever manifestation He led us as individuals, that’s how we receive the favor and blessings of God (Psalm 24:6). So live a life of purpose, believing God is sovereign and has a plan, even when it makes no type of sense the things you have to go through, know He wants to do in you something great, because this generation depends on it. Don’t lost faith. Keep praying. Keep seeking. Keep pressing. Keep trusting. Keep believing.

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Broken

vesselWell, I don’t think I’ve even been completely transparent in what I write, but due to what’s going on, or rather has been I figured to tell someone. In doing so, I want you to know, you are not alone. Just like you my heart breaks and my soul cries, often.

Even still, I have so many doubts, insecurities, and worry. I encourage others so much, because I struggle so much internally. I question by abilities and truth be told, my physical appearance. I don’t know what it is exactly, a part of it may be my sign, I’m a Cancer, or my personality type, I’m an introverted idealist, but I hide very well, physically and mentally. Physically, I mean that I can move so very quickly and quietly like a ninja ghost, and I take pride in that lol. On the other hand, mentally, even those closest to me I know never can fully grasps how I perceive things or even perceive myself. My mind is a dangerous place to be, because there is so much always going on, which is part of the female structure. As well, I’ve been the shoulder to others and be my own shoulder; after a while, my shoulders get tired, but it’s my own shoulder that weighs the most.

Recently, I’ve just been heavy, although, it has lightened up a lot. I can’t explain exactly why, and it could be due to a mixture of things and just a hovering of something conflicting with my spirit. Still, even though I know where God is leading me, I can say that I do not see the whole stair case, and I’m not sure of the next steps. I can’t lie and say I don’t get jealous, because I do. Social media messes me up, not as much as it used to, and there are things that encourage me daily, but so often it seems like so many are receiving the very things that I desire, but not me. I am a singer, yet I wish I could do others do naturally with their own. Furthermore, I’ve passed the loneliness phase of my life, but now, sometimes it just feels like me against the world, almost like I scream but there is no one to hear me. I’ve come to know a long time ago that I am weird and I except that, and that I think and process things different. Nonetheless, generations have changed, and when I was younger I didn’t really have the friendship system that’s afforded to those younger than me, that is to say I often wonder what my life would have been like if I was born 10 years later. Plus, those that I call my best friends, and or those I’ve had intimate relationships with, it’s always long distance. It’s gets so hard because of it.

All in all, I go through this serious battle of inadequacy and self-worth, and my confidence is minimal. I haven’t been suicidal, but I will ask myself, “if I were to die, would it even matter? Would my death really impact someone’s life?” I like to be in control and know what is going on as much as possible, and a couple years back God had to remove that and because I don’t know, I don’t feel worthy enough or adequate enough to even do what I know He’s calling me to do. On one hand it’s a reverence thing because ministry is a gift and serving is an honor, and on the other it’s like no Nia, there is nothing special in you, that you can pull this off.

Now please, this is not self-pity or complaining, I just want you to see the face behind the Be You for a Purpose mask. One thing I do know is that I am a broken and limp vessel and I want to be used by Christ. But as much as I encourage, I am encouraging myself, I have to, because the Enemy likes to come and mess with my mind and my emotions, and I have to keep him at bay, less I miss out on what God has for me to do. Yes, I will lift you up, but I’m just getting used to praying for myself. Yes, I do know God has an incredible plan and purpose for me, I just have to keep the faith and trust Him, as cliche as that may sound, but He is my only hope and sustainer. But I can be stubborn and get myself worked up for no good reason to be honest, and normally when I do it’s because my commune with Jesus isn’t where it should be, almost like I go through withdrawal; I’m a feign and I need my fix. So this is me, broken, chipped, messed up, unqualified, but for some strange reason, chosen.

His love holds me together, just like it will hold you, so keep fighting with me, pressing, praying, and believing. The journey is not over. Be encouraged.